By small and simple experiences, great understanding shall come to pass!

Olivia loves watching home videos, mostly of herself.
Since we don't own a video camera, and our digital camera has issues, I use my phone to capture 99% of our photos and videos. So, when our little Livi-Lou-Who wants to watch videos, I just give her my phone. She knows how to select which video she wants, and if she happens to exit out of the video folder, she brings me the phone to get her back to it.

Until yesterday.

Olivia had been up most of the night prior, so consequently I was wiped (didn't help that I had already stayed up late finishing the third book of the Hunger Games). When she woke up at 7:00am (having just gone to bed at 5:00am), I was in no mood to get up, fix breakfast and play. Instead, I brought her into bed with me and Aaron and gave her my phone to watch some home videos so I could catch a few more minutes of sleep. I dozed off, but woke up to her handing me the phone - meaning she had exited out of the video folder and needed help. However, when I went to open the folder containing ALL of my photos and videos, the folder was no where to be found. I searched surrounding folders, all of my menu screens, nothing. She had erased the folder.

Now, was I upset? Frustrated? Well, yes. But instead of react, I woke up Aaron, gave him the phone and said, "Olivia erased all of our photos and videos. Fix it." I then rolled over, and went back to sleep. Call it my coping mechanism, but I was in no mood to face what the implications of losing that folder were for our little family history. Aaron, my sweet sweet husband, took Olivia out to Lisa and asked her to watch her so I could get a bit of sleep and then proceeded to research how to restore the folder. He has found options, but since he has a crazy work week, he won't be able to try anything out until tomorrow. Which, surprisingly, I am okay with.

Where's the light at the end of the tunnel? I did get some extra sleep, Aaron does have some possible fixes, and because I back up our photos and videos, I realized I have most of them saved on our computer. We did lose some photos and videos of course (as luck would have it, my phone hadn't mounted well to our laptop the day before, so I only managed to copy over a few pictures), but at least we only lost about 3 weeks worth of stuff. It could have been much worse. And even in those 3 weeks, because I keep up on our blog, I had uploaded a few of our favorite photos to share. I didn't copy over the corresponding videos, but ce la vie.

Why blog about this? A few reasons...

1. This is a perfect example of what happens when I let my "mommy game" down; I chose sleep over keeping an eye on my little one with my phone, resulting in her accidentally erasing an important folder. Lesson learned - again - mommy responsibilities come first. Don't get me wrong, there are times when even super mommies have to take a break. We can't care for our families if we aren't taking care of ourselves. This was not necessarily one of those times. This was more an example of why I shouldn't stay up until 2:30am reading! :) 
2. The power of unconditional love. I was talking with my sister last night about life, love, marriage and family. The morning's event came up, and I shared with her that as a parent, we are granted the gift of feeling unconditional love - even charity - for our children.  After all, they are first our Father in Heaven's children, on loan to us for this earthly experience. It is our responsibility to teach, nurture and love them - ultimately preparing them to return home to our Father. I shared that even though Olivia had erased the folder, I knew she didn't mean to; I could see in her face that she understood she had done something not quite right, and she could see that I was disappointed/frustrated. And my love for her completely erased any feelings of anger or frustration. What impressed me was how our Father in Heaven must see us. We make mistakes, daily. Some are intentional, others unintentional. And yet, He sees the intent of our hearts, He feels our pain, and although He must feel sorrow for our choices, His perfect love for us overcomes all. Because of His perfect love, He provided a Savior for us - His Only Begotten Son, Jesus Christ - to atone for our sins, to descend below all things, that through His Son's sacrifice, He can grant us mercy. I understand that my little experience with Olivia isn't a direct parallel - after all, she's 18 months old and she unknowingly made a mistake. She didn't need any forgiveness because she isn't accountable for her actions. Rather, I made a choice and the consequences followed (as they always do). Nevertheless, our mortal experience as parents (and children) prepares us for eternal life, it enables us to feel a part of the love our Father in Heaven feels for us. President Uchtdorf has said that children teach us (meaning parents) more about what matters most than our parents ever could. How true that is! 
3. Which leads me into my last reason: determining what matters most. There are so many things that can go "wrong" during a day, or go "not according to plan". For example: Olivia spilling an entire bowl of cereal on the carpet, a poopy diaper as we're trying to get out the door, realizing I don't have all the ingredients I needed for dinner, an cold overcast day the day we've planned to go to the beach (just to name a few). But we have a choice - how to react - and our decision is evidence of whether or not we understand what matters most. To use my previous examples, what matters most is: teaching Olivia with love and by example how to clean up and/or why we don't eat in the front room, taking care of the needs of our children regardless of whatever schedule we're trying to keep, being creative rather than getting frustrated, and that regardless of the weather, taking advantage of the day together as a family.
   
   Lisa shared a story of a friend of hers (a mother) - their family was about to have a birthday celebration, they were bringing the cake in, when one of their kids asked to help carry the cake. As you might guess, the cake didn't make it. Rather than get frustrated, announce the party was ruined, and/or place blame, the mother went into the house, grabbed the plates and forks and came back outside and announced they'd start the party by eating cake! What a funny family story now! (Remember the time we dropped the cake and ate it off the ground!?) Lisa's friend understood what mattered most, and acted on it.
   
   Although I didn't handle the situation with Livi as well as I could have - I am grateful for opportunities that teach and remind me of what matters most. It's not the what, where, when, and how, but the who and why that matter most. 

I love being a mom. My life is now a roller coaster of experiences and emotions, but always a thrill. :) (Cheesy, but true). I am happier now than I have ever been - even surpassing the joy I felt serving as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I have been given the gift of an amazing little family - a husband who loves and adores me and whose primary concern is our welfare, and a daughter whose laugh and smile brighten any day and whose spirit radiates love and peace. I am so grateful for the blessing of being a mother, for every opportunity to become more like my Heavenly Father and Mother (even if I'm not always grateful during the "opportunity").